💔 From Panic to Collapse — Trying to Survive
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Jean Hatoum Created this campaign
!!!!!URGENT PLEASE, JEAN IS IN NEED FOR URGENT HOSPITALIZATION AND LEGAL ASSISTANCE. FINANCIALS ARE TIGHT AND TILL DATE NO HELP WAS FOUND, PLEASE.!!!!1
💔 I’m Struggling with Severe PTSD & Panic Disorder and Severe MDD with Sever Suicidal Thoughts — Please Help Me Find a Way Out 💔
My name is Jean, I’m 33 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am writing these words with no strength left to hide behind a smile or pretend I'm okay.
For years, I’ve been suffering in silence — battling traumas, panic attacks, and a deep, persistent fear that often leaves me gasping for air, frozen in place, or even unconscious. What started as moments of panic I tried to manage privately has now taken over my life.
Since January, my condition has worsened. The panic attacks come daily, without warning. My heart races, I shake uncontrollably, I lose my ability to speak or move. I often pass out, completely unaware of my surroundings. I usually hide in the bathroom so my mother and brother don’t see me like this — I didn’t want them to worry.
But things have spiraled beyond what I can carry alone.
What Happened
I work as an insurance agent, collecting client payments and forwarding them to the two companies I work with: Solidarity Mutual Fund and Securite Assurance.
On December 7, 2024, while waiting in Baabda for a client, I had a panic attack. I was disoriented and overwhelmed. In those vulnerable minutes, I was robbed.
Again, on May 1, 2025, after undergoing thyroid tests and other medical procedures at St. Michel Medical Center in Dbayeh, I avoided the elevator due to anxiety and took the stairs. Halfway down, I had a sudden, violent panic attack. I lost consciousness on the staircase. Someone tried to help me — I saw a shadow — but by the time I came to and got to the street, I realized two envelopes containing insurance payments were missing. I broke down in public, completely helpless, and went home in tears, ashamed and scared.
The Diagnosis
I finally opened up to my doctor on June 6, 2025, and told him everything. He prescribed Alprox 0.5mg to help with the episodes, and urged me to begin psychotherapy immediately.
On June 11, 2025, I began therapy with Dr. Tony Sawma, a clinical psychologist who now sees me weekly. After deep evaluation, I was diagnosed with:
Severe PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Panic Disorder
Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors
These are not just labels. They mean I:
Experience intense flashbacks and terrifying memories
Avoid people, public spaces, and even daylight at times
Can suddenly collapse, shake, cry, or become paralyzed by fear
Live with a constant sense of danger, guilt, and shame
Struggle with insomnia, digestive issues, and chronic exhaustion
Often feel like I am not going to survive another week
Therapy is helping, but this is a long, slow journey — and while I fight for my mental health, my financial crisis has exploded.
Why I’m Asking for Help
Due to the robberies during my panic episodes, I fell behind on client payments. I tried to explain to the insurance companies. I asked for time.
Solidarity Mutual Fund eventually put all my policies on hold
Securite Assurance hired a lawyer, Edgard Hayeck, who is now pursuing legal action against me
I owe:
$6,200 to Securite Assurance
$6,050 to Solidarity Mutual Fund
I’ve contacted several lawyers, but no one has responded. I don’t have the resources or mental strength to fight this battle alone anymore. That’s why I am writing this with shame, fear, and a final hope: that someone will see me, hear me, and help.
How You Can Help
If you can support me with any amount, it will help me:
Pay back these dues before legal action escalates
Continue my weekly therapy
Buy my medication
Focus on healing without the constant threat of collapse
I’m ready to share medical reports, receipts, or speak to any lawyer who is willing to help me legally. Please contact me at 81901751 if you can assist or guide me, as you can donate via whish Money App to the number 70169933.
Final Words
I need urgent hospitalization for a Server MDD (Major-Depressive-Disorder) with Severe suicidal thoughts, my insurance does not cover this case and I don't know how much it cost in Cash with treatments, and I can't afford. I’m not okay. I’m not stable. But I’m trying. I’m going to therapy. I’m following my doctor’s orders. And I’m asking — please, if you’ve ever known what it feels like to be completely lost, help me find a light in this darkness.
With honesty and all my heart,
Jean
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Organizer
Jean Hatoum
Debel - South Lebanon
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